The Perceptual Process-Put into practice

I am not use to nice people. Growing up in Samoa, I had to go to private school because I was teased a lot for being "too white" and so I never felt accepted into my own culture. Although private school was expensive and an hour drive away from home, it pretty much saved my life.

I made close friends, I actually learned a thing or two, but above all I was not considered "too white." 

When the transfer students from off island were introduced to the class, things got a little shifty. These were my first moments being exposed to actual Americans from the mainland. I bore witness to the stereotypical meaning of being called a "palagi doi" and this time it was not directed towards me. 

With my experience, I was able to look into both perspectives of the bullies and the bullied. Most natives including myself did not get along with the transfers. We did not have a lot in common and they, especially the girls, were seen as annoying. It was not as if there were not any chances given to get to know them but in the end nothing really clicked. 

I always felt bad because if it were public school, I would be in their position. So I tried helping them fit in and feel welcomed but honestly I could not stand most. These experiences, sensations, might have wired my brain to organize situations and evaluate most white people to be annoying snobs, basically the stereotypical "blonde." And with that, I notice that I tend to associate a lot of things just because of a few bad experiences. 

That being said, I do not hate white people. I was in the same situation as the transfers, so I understand how hard it can be. I was put into a lot of situations back on island that just so happen to involve shitty people who just so happen to be "palagi." But I also had bad experiences with Samoans. I am both white and Samoan, and people are just people. Which is why I say that I am not use to nice people. 

Whenever I meet anyone, my mind immediately starts to analyze, judge, stereotype because I am always being cautious with everyone around me. Eventually the whole socializing game becomes too much work and being a hermit sounds like the more enticing route. 

When I first met my roommate, it only helped my case of stereotyping Americans. I wish it didn't because I was actually looking forward to meeting my first college roommate. I imagined she would probably be a nerd with the same cool taste in music and we would kick it off. Next thing you know, we would be making sushi together and painting each others nails like in the tv shows. However, things did not go as I imagined. 

I checked in late around 9pm that day and when I walked into the dorm, she was already in bed. She seemed nice, very pretty and young. We got to talking a little; gave our introductions. Everything was going great. About thirty to forty minutes later, a boy poked his head out from under her sheets. I expected this kind of thing to be going on in college life but I did not expect it to happen as soon as I arrived. 

The situation only got more awkward because she never introduced her boyfriend the whole night and the days after. It was as if she expected me to be oblivious to his entire existence. She rarely talked to me unless I spoke to her so I thought she was just more shy than I was. And then she kept having her "unnamed" boyfriend over. My thought process led me to guess that students here just pretend you are not in the room. Which was hard to do because surprisingly, the boyfriend was louder and more obnoxious than she was. 

I kept wondering if I was in the wrong and that I just needed to get use to how these kids were. But eventually, I got tired of trying to understand someone who was just did not seem to share the same values. 

One day she had about five or six people in our dorm at once being loud and carrying on. The dorms are small enough as is and last time I checked it is a "shared" room. Usually I would stay in the side lines and only speak if I really needed to be heard. The problem was not because they were "too different from me." These were young kids who were being disrespectful and inconsiderate and I do not appreciate people in my living space being rude and ignoring that there is another person present. 

So I told them off in the nicest way that I was capable of in a situation where only a tiny bit of patience that I had left. I then requested a private room immediately. I figured why go through another possible roommate disaster? 

The point is, I went into this "perceptual process" with caution and an open mind because I did not want to judge someone just because of my past experiences. However I had to reevaluate her because of the new things I learned about her which helped me pass a better judgement. Even though my interpretation of her is that she is disrespectful, loud, and annoying, she is still very young and has a lot of growing up to do so I understand that I cannot view every American girl as my ex-roommate.